Flow of the Time

Year 2009 was not great, not at all. It has left a lot of scars on me. i was hoping the new year to prove to be fruitful., but the beginning of the year 2010 was the worst of all. unimaginable. although it was good on the professional front but devastating on the personal front. same worries surrounding me. Whoever  has made this phrase "Move On" has really facilitated people to use it every now & then. Decided to go with the flow but again unexpected things happening in life. No clue at all.

But somewhere I felt like closed doors are opening slowly, but will it allow me to enter in ? that is again a question..... i could feel the change in my behaviour. had become a bit calm as i was clueless as to what is going to happen. still the struggle was not over. but..... i dont know. at times i used to confidently present myself but today......

Confidence is shaken within me. people of my age make various constructive plans, but i am still waiting for my destiny to take a call.
heart & mind are facing a tough time.... tensions equivalent to that between the two borders.
aware of the facts but unaware of the future. but i just can hope for the best thing to happen. whether its against me or in favor of me. have seen so many cyclones in life that now i feel that im like sand. the sand particles are so  light that it has no  option than moving with other sand particles along with the wind.

The Year 2009 - Was a Boon but Burnt me to Ashes

At the end of every year we wish all the Happy New Year and may the new year brings in loads of joy & tons of love and happiness in your life. But i guess in my case sumthing is desperately wrong.

Last year was a nightmare for me. Lot of uncertainties, insecurity, fear of several things, insults, tears and what not. After 04th Jan 2009 every single day was an add on for problems and mounting tensions, but just with a mad hope of everything being streamlined kept me sailing through the high tides. That year my anger was taking its toll over me, insecurity and fear were creating hard rocks around me giving me no room to breathe. Destiny was closing all its doors and windows leaving no space for sunshine to enter in. Each day i used to collapse as taking the pain and still walking in a hot sun had become unbearable for me. but still, i used to manage to get up and try to sort out things that were laid in a haphazard manner, all alone and single-handedly. I cried, but there was nobody to wipe my tears. the only thing i got was sympathy from some1 close which again was a miserable feeling. i tried to change the situation, but in vain. Every single effort put in was true and honest,  but in vain.

I was being slaughtered every now and then, murdered every single moment.  i weeped, i yelled, i shouted, i pleaded, but all in vain. At the end, i was left empty handed.

Year 2009 has really left me empty handed, but it has done one gud thing to me - My First Confirmation Letter. I got my confirmation letter in hand, in February 2009. When most of the employees across the nation, across the globe were getting pink slips due to severe economic melt down, i was proud to receive my first confirmation letter.

I should thank year 2009 for this gratefullness but rest entire year, it has burnt me to Ashes.

'I Care A Damn.....'

Being sentimental about your job and your colleagues is something that every individual experiences. I too experience it day in & day out. At times it disturbs mentally. Even if there is a small crack or a slightly changed behavior, you automatically tend to think 10 different things over the same situation. Not to forget it is a human tendency to think over the situation until the dust settles down.

Over a period of time you share a good rapport with your colleagues & bosses therefore being friendly with them to some extent is quite normal but still one needs to be careful.

Since im an emotional person, I immediately get affected even with the slightest change in behavior by any of my colleagues. Your psychology gets affected by it. You tend to get more curious about things happening around and indulge into a ‘Grapevine’ resulting into loss of concentration at your work. Even after office hours those thoughts revolve in our sub-conscious brain and we tend to derive an entirely different situation in our minds relating to those circumstances in such a way that we imagine things falling in our favor when the reality is different.

Over a period of time I have developed ‘I Care a Damn Attitude'. To be frank Im not more worried about my work being hampered but im more worried about my psychology getting disturbed.
Getting indulged into gossips, anger, jokes, vindictive nature, aggressive behavior, dominance, biased actions, corporate politics etc is a part of the human nature, from the root level employee to the top notch management but yes, ego levels may differ at different levels. Groupism, camps, ego clashes are omnipresent. Thankfully I have that 'Care A Damn attitude' which helps me when dealing with such people.

My boss had once imparted his 'gyan' to me. In a Tsunami tall trees were broken and uprooted but small grass did not. Trees stand tall and stiff that a massive cyclone can break it, but grass bends in the direction of the flow as a result it gets saved. Moral of the 'gyan' was, in life you will face many people which you would hate to deal with, but if you remain stiff you are bound to be broken down but if you bend as per the flow you will sustain for long. So his only message was 'Behave situational'. About the world around, I have learnt just one thing, 'Care a Damn....' and you will be free from the so called 'psychological' barriers and unproductive thoughts that worry you and affects you, be it office or wherever you go.

Case Study for Communication professionals

Everyday I open my blog stare my photograph for 5 seconds, read my blog for several times and then i remember, ooh i have to log in.. for intial few days the same sequence continued. Again, i used to wonder as to what should i write ? i used to look around, if anything inspired me ... but alas nothing. I used to quietly sign out and get back to my usual work and then for the rest of the day i used to forget that i have anything called as my own blog.

But one thing was on my mind - writing on my own Kokan, as i had recently visited my native - Kokan for Ganpati festival. wanted to write on its people, the small roof top houses with small 'Angan' and water well. The scenic mersmerizing beauty, tall coconut trees at times straight at times curved like an arc, the staple food, fishing boats, river streams etc etc etc. but i was jus waiting for the photos to be uploaded and then start writing over it.

Anyways, for two weeks i was in Thana staying with my vahini as my parents had not returned from village. I used to commute to my office  located at Andheri by train as travelling by bus used to take a hell lot of time. It had become a daily routine for me. I remember, it was Wednesday, that means Non-Veg eating day. I told my vahini that i'll get Butter Chkn from one of the famous resto at Andheri (MIDC) called 'Gazalee'. After paying 286 Rs. jus for 1 butter chkn and 2 kokam kadi (it disturbed my entire budget), I was left with only 20 Rs. I thought of travelling by bus directly to Thane as i was tired of changing ten different mode of transport. So i decided to take non A/C 496 bus to thana. i got into a crowded bus with two parcels in my hand (one of buter chkn & other of kokam kadi). It was too uncomfortable but to my surprise i enjoyed that journey, well ofcourse for some particular reason.

No, there was no handsome guy travelling in that bus but a very unexpected person.

A BEST employee - Conductor. A very negligble post in the hierarchy of the BEST transport. The normal tendency of the conductors is too bad, making people annoyed when they deny to cut tickets for passengers just coz they dont have change and famously known for their rude and foul mouthed, though at times we forget that these poor guys have to stand continously and manage to reach every passenger to give them their tickets so that their travel becomes valid. So sometimes their anger is also justified. But the conductor about whom I am writing was a jolly good fellow and hilarious. His gentle approach made the passengers forget their irritation. though i got a seat later (reserved ladies seat) but i was still listening to him. His smiling face made that hectic and packed crowded journey wonderful. Who says that only people who have climbed the stairs of schools can solve the tedious maths ? His words, statements, the pitch and tone of his voice, his timing of passing some hilarious comments were like a perfectly calculated mathematics.

We take management degrees just to learn how to communicate with your customers and attract them with your kind words. There are big big case studies in the books of MBA's written in wonderful American english language with smooth touch of French words like creme da la creme or derived words from Italian or German language. But this conductor being an illiterate could prove a very good case study for all. With his simple Ghati language he could divert the attention of the public which otherwise would have been cursing their co-passengers. I desparately wanted to tell him that we actually read books to learn this tactics but you proved that big fat books does not necessarily mean big skills, it needs to be within. The skill of convincing your customers and target audience, the art of playing with your words should be in-built. Books are just for the additional knowledge.

Well, though i could not express my thoughts to him, as to be frank I did not have that guts to walk towards him and appreciate but I can never forget this person; short thin built middle aged human being who had a good lesson to teach, especially the Communication Professionals, that includes me too.

Four Letter Word - Blog

I remember, a year back when millions of people were already blogging and few business minded software professionals were making millions out of this idea and software, I was the person who was not even aware that there is something called as 'Blogs'. When i got into my profession (PR - Public Relations), through one of the assignment i got introduced to this word 'BLOG'. During the brain storming session i was completely blank that what are these people talking about. Despite being a human being on the planet Earth,i felt like an alien. Despite being a Convent student i was surprised by myself that i cannot understand the language coz my mind was hovering over just one word - BLOG. Blog ? Whats that? While the brain storming session was going on in a full swing i was thinking to excuse myself, rushing to my computer (where Google and Dictionary sites are always open) and just type this word Blog and see what the results come, though i could not move out of the cabin of our Creative Head, but my eyes were rolling from one person to another as to who is saying what and who responded to what. Well that only proved to be a good exercise for my eyes (thats it). Rather than searching on google i preferred asking my senior colleague as to what does this '4 Letter' word stands for. Though she gave me that weird surprised look, but she did take that effort to explain me. For her it was like explaining a computer engineer student the meaning and importance of Computer. I too got a bit embarrased but anyways atleast i got introduced to this 4 letter word. And 1 year later i created my own blog, well not bad. So here i get started. I could have created my blog months earlier but i was thinking as to what will be the name of my blog what will be the title name of my blog, what will i write on my blog etc etc. But i forgot that afterall I am a creative person and great ideas dont appear immediately in the creative minds. Well that got proved when several months later when i decided to create my own blog but used to get stuck as to what should be the name, the thought clicked my brain that my own name in itself is so unique that i dont need any other 'creative' name for my blog. And the other name Select Grain personifies the selective thoughts, ideas and articles which are like one polished grain from the whole lot of grains.